* Any views expressed in this opinion piece are those of the author and not of Thomson Reuters Foundation.
Many people in Malaysia are not against LGBTQ+ people – but they just have never spoken to one before. Dialogue is the way, argues Alan SorasakAlan Sorasak* is a freelance writer based in Malaysia.
In my small, conservative Malaysian hometown, boys were expected to act like men, while girls were expected to be pious and subservient. Across both genders, everyone is expected to obey religious commands.
All this while, I have always been in constant denial and fear, concealing my true self behind a mask of conformity. I have been ingrained from a young age that a guy has to be married to a woman and have kids. You know, that kind of traditional family setting.
But when I was young, I did exhibit some kind of feminine traits. It's not that I intentionally wanted to do that to outrage everyone, but I didn't realise that it's how I would act.
Yet, my parents would look down on that and upbraid me for being feminine due to the way I talk and act. They told me that I should be a man and act as a guy. I just couldn’t understand why they were being so negative with me. This also applied to my former classmates back in school.
I didn't understand why my innate preferences and mannerisms were so abhorrent to the people around me. I didn't realise that this was just the beginning of a lifelong struggle for identity, acceptance and love in a society where homosexuality is still widely considered immoral and abnormal.
The weight of societal expectations, family pressure and the constant fear of persecution had been bearing down on me for years and yet, in that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of hope and optimism.
However, I was determined to find my place in a world that seemed to reject my existence. I began to explore the hidden corners of Malaysia in search of others like me. Given that it's impossible for me to find them in person since I never know if the person would be openly homophobic or otherwise, I turned to the internet.
It was on Reddit that I began to realise that I was not alone, that there were people who understood my struggles and could empathise with my experiences. The site became my sanctuary, where I could be my authentic self without fear of judgment or ridicule.
Also, through Reddit, I connected with other Malaysians, many of whom turned out to be LGBTQ+ folks. I formed friendships and bonds that defied the narrative I had been led to believe about being gay in Malaysia.
I've always been aware of the legal and societal restrictions placed upon LGBTQ+ individuals such as myself. Being an LGBTQ+ person is a crime in Malaysia. Even my own family members can take legal action against me for being gay, and this reality has haunted me throughout my life.
It's made it incredibly difficult for me to form genuine connections with many others, always feeling the need to hide my true self due to the fear and pressure of being found out.
I often wonder what the Malaysian government could do to at least not discriminate against LGBTQ+ people like me. Perhaps they could start by decriminalizing homosexuality and implementing anti-discrimination policies, which would give us a chance to live our lives without the constant threat of persecution. But I know that this is a very distant dream since the government has been consistently not recognizing LGBT folks.
And what about the Malaysian public? Should their opinion change to be more tolerant and open towards LGBT folks?
I believe that education and open dialogue can help break down the barriers of prejudice and ignorance that often fuel discrimination. Through my previous conversations with other Malaysians, especially those who are not LGBTQ+ folks, they are increasingly more open, although we still can’t speak out in public as the majority are still against us.
Still, I do believe that we can change hearts and minds. Start talking to them (me included) and get to know them better. After all, LGBTQ+ people like me are humans, just like you.
*Due to the current laws in Malaysia, we are using a pseudonym to protect the writer’s identity
Openly is an initiative of the Thomson Reuters Foundation dedicated to impartial coverage of LGBT+ issues from around the world.
Our Standards: The Thomson Reuters Trust Principles.
